1. No self-respecting journalist would ever work for that newspaper.

2. No self-respecting actor would appear in a porn movie.

3. His lechery made him the enemy of every self-respecting husband and father in the county.

4. He died as any self-respecting gangster should — in a hail of bullets.

5. No self-respecting government would allow such atrocities to be carried out in its name.

6. No self-respecting Zen-Buddhist spares a second thought for it.

7. Anyway, which self-respecting rocker would handwash his originals?

8. No self-respecting lady or gent would use it now.

9. As at any other self-respecting nursery, we always gathered ours up and burned them - but not these lads.

10. Yet no self-respecting third-party candidate runs for election simply to destroy one big party and elevate the other.

11. It went without saying that the truly self-respecting native was the one who understood the indecency of aspiring beyond his station.

12. Not that any self-respecting journalist would do that, of course.

13. Any self-respecting sceptic might be tempted ... It's certainly easy to be sceptical about the Earth Summit.

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14. No self-respecting pasta-maker would use anything else for making fresh pasta or pizza, come to that.

15. But no self-respecting Bubba would ever get this lost behind the wheel of a large vehicle.

16. So far as any self-respecting mechanic was concerned, he knew nothing.

17. What self-respecting people would ever agree to such provisions?

18. "To get people to be self-respecting, grass-roots entrepreneurs is the only way out," notes Banerjee.

19. As things stand, no self-respecting auditor would sign off the G8's books.

20. No self-respecting cosmopolitan man looking for an evening of companionship is going to lean out his car window and call out to a woman at a traffic light.

21. No self-respecting gourmet would travel in France without the Michelin red guide.

22. As hellfire-spiced love muffins go this beauty rates five big ones in any self-respecting cookie jar.

23. It is the sort of dull nitty-gritty subject believed to be vital for the survival of any self-respecting congressman.

24. It was the kind of station, and nobody tried to disguise it, where self-respecting disc jockeys were never found.

25. Singing, dancing and drawing polygons may be nifty, but any self-respecting evil roboticist needs a few more tricks in the repertoire if they are going to take over the world.

26. That's the problem with taking away the free market: Any self-respecting, ratings-oriented broadcaster would have cut away to fit in somebody else's vault.

27. If that is the independence we're talking about, no self-respecting American would hesitate for a moment to challenge it.

28. When he first saw it, he did what any self-respecting genius would do: He went home and built one of his own that he played on his own TV.

29. I just knew that she was going to ask me to do something unrelaxing, so I did the only thing a self-respecting first-day-of-summer vacationer would do: I did under my cat.

30. Work, he insisted, is the only thing to turn a half-alive vagrant into a self-respecting human being.

31. The question seems to imply that sensitivity to UV must be a peculiarity or even a feature that self-respecting birds should be able to live happily without.

32. Every self-respecting business team talks about it, yet many of us aren't even sure what it is, and even more are uncertain of how they should be doing it.

33. An egotist loves himself for the most superficial of reasons, while a self-respecting person takes pride in qualities of character that he or she has worked hard to develop.

34. In fact, in years past, no self-respecting bass fisherman would be caught dead with a spinning rod in his boat!